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24 Years Ago - I stepped In

When I stepped in I felt like I had already lived more than a 17 year old should have. I had already accrued many scars, a lovely tattoo and several bad habits. In fact, by the time I was 16 years old I was a full-fledged alcoholic and occasioned recreational drugs. I drank grape beer with my granny and smoked cigarettes since I was 5. She would say, “I would rather you smoke in front of me so you don’t burn the house down.” Bless her heart; she had an 8th grade education and her own scars. Gladdy was a family friend but I always considered her a granny. I learned love for cats, beer and how to love even when you are not blood related from her. I know why I was trying to sabotage my life now. At the time, I literally had no good ideas, no mentors and no direction. If I did, I was not listening to them. My friends certainly had no clue about how to do life. I loved them dearly but I saw that their futures were destined to be professional partiers. I wasn’t even psychic! I knew that l...

Your Needs are Important

Disappointment in life is nothing new under the sun. Relying on others is cause for letdown and bitterness in our lives. One of the biggest ramifications of hanging on to those things is that trust is not easily given after we have been let down a time or two. Look at the bright side; it also promotes heaps of self-determination. We still have to believe all things! We should believe the best in people and hope that they do their best for themselves and by us. Expect sometimes when they don’t - cause sometimes they wont. Life happens, meh happens, and people may not prioritize us in the scheme of life. That’s okay, we must continue to build and believe in others anyway. Ever meet a grumpy old man or woman that just has been used up and let down? Their face is stuck on crumpled. I for one don’t want that kind of face or disposition. I take a strength-based approach in life and that is I believe that we all have the potential to be highly influential, great people. We all have dreams, ...

Hurting Souls

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I am Holly, I have been here in Las Vegas for 20+ years so it's home. I dealt with 115-degree weather, gambling, and splendor at its finest from this town and there is nothing but love for this great state from me. Most of the time, I enjoy what this town has to offer my family. I also reach out to the community in many efforts for social change and good old fashioned unconditional love. I do, however feel there is one issue that is almost impossible for me to swallow. That is the sexualization of this town. Now, I am not trying to make this a place that it is not. Hear me out, please. That being said I noticed some things here that many others do not seem to notice at all. Its like I live with people who chose not to see the obvious. Many people here do not believe that it is their duty to speak the truth about what happens in Vegas. Its been touted it just stays here, so we don’t really need to notice advertisements for sex, or shows, or clubs that are offering happy endings. I...

Real Connection

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There is a lot to be said about friendship. I know for me it is the salt of the earth. Friendship gives life flavor. Fun. There really cannot be anything better on the planet than laughing with a friend. When is the last time you laughed so hard your face hurt with your bestie? Friends can make the difference in a lackluster day. I am talking about the acquaintances we have as well. People like the folks we see at the store, or co- workers that we may chat with but we don’t divulge our dreams, depths or dregs too. Those people help make life more than tolerable. Sometimes a smile or a little talk about the weather buoys the soul. I have even spoken to people that I don’t know that well that have given me enough inspiration to go on for weeks. Then there are those friends that you can take the masks down with and be real. Not your selfie pic, but the true you. I am not even talking about the people that have known you forever. We change every seven years in a variety of ways. The Ho...

Who will Make it

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I have always been a helper. I started working at 14 years old bagging groceries and swabbing the deck. I was a nurse's assistant in high school at a nursing home. I loved my patients. I had a patient tell me one time that all she had to look forward to was seeing me daily. I have been involved in the helping field since I was 18 years old. In college, we we went to Central America for a missionary trip, I have taught young children for 15 years in a church setting and I have worked with adults that have lost everything. I know that I couldn't possibly have all the answers for all the loss that I have encountered in these peoples lives, but I am sure God knows how best to be God. Faith is not that easy for me. Especially when I see the hurting regularly. At times, I wonder about these individuals, and I'll think, God, will that one make it ? Alas, I always hold out hope that they will and yes- I have doubted. One afternoon, I took my family to get out of the house and get...

Sentimental Journey

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I don't know what it twas about this summer - but for me, it was nostalgic. I have been in a sentimental mood since it began. Firstly, my nephew comes out every summer so I have a total of 6 kids I get to look after. Looking after the young includes: yummy summer food fare, entertaining and learning how to just chill together. We traveled, which is indicative of stopping at every site we felt was interesting enough. It meant having buzz words like, "enema, Chupacobra, krumping and twerk it." All I can say is never purchase an enema that has pictures on the label. And yes Virginia, the Chupacobra was in California lately. It was a summer of swimming lessons and then seeing my four year old swim across the pool. It was a time of star gazing whilst listening to 80's music, lots of Popsicles and lots of laughs. The kids played chess, painted, made homemade clay figures, and ate homemade apple pie. We shot off fire crackers, rode bikes, and danced in the kitchen (some were...

Babies n Flowers

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I can't stand to waste time, it is far too precious. I just wanted to say I am busy rearing the future leaders of the world and slowly trying to take it over at the same time. It can be a little taxing at times, however most days I look back and go , "Wow how did I do that?" Here is how I do it all (rather silly how a human tries, but here it goes): I always buy myself flowers, I chew gum, eat coffee covered coffee often, believe in aromatherapy, retail therapy, chocolate, babies are healing, good friends are too, I meditate, do Zumba on a whim, hug everyone, grow plants, read, and stay away from tv and trust God in the process. Today, I was trying to get my business done (bills, my favorite), watch 3 babies under 3, get my homework done and make last minute plans on a birthday party (my second this week), clean, do laundry,cook, exercise and pay attention to everyone. The kids were demolishing the house I cleaned 5 times this week. Being the mature person I am - I go...

Soldier Mom

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I needed some uplifting, so I was looking at my journal from when I was pregnant with Gabriella, my 4th child. She is 18 months old now, and I have written throughout all my pregnancies. I am 32 weeks along into my 5th pregnancy. It was then that I was refreshed to read my thoughts on a page called, "Thong? Wrong." I am more into comfort than I have been my entire life. I never even wore flip flops (slippahs) before I became pregnant with Serena (number 3 at age 34). I certainly never left the house without perfume, earrings, or make up. You are never fully dressed without sun block in the Vegas. I hope and pray that as an old lady sitting on my porch, I never regret the lack of luster and flub bub. I just want to be the best mom I can. At times that requires comfortable shoes, and a shirt you don't mind banana on. Forgetta bout earrings that could be ripped out, and hair is back. I would have never thought of "back" as my hair style as a younger, trendier gal...

A New Baby

Everytime I think of the fact that I already have four children, I just shake my head in disbelief. Now, I am in my last trimester with number five. All I can say is that we are so blessed. I would have never planned my life this way - but God. As Hope, my eldest daughter says, "You hit the jackpot in kids, mom." There are days when I think I am living in the Twilight Zone. Then, there are times that I feel I am the most fortunate person living. Right now I am caring, loving, and teaching the little ones I have, whilst carrying another. I just have to remember that through the hormones, heat and bowling ball in my belly - there is a life that has no bounds of possibility that is alive and waiting to see us all. I did buy a baby t-shirt today that said,"Baby Brother," for retail therapy. I have the strength to complete this course of action. That is, a few more months of pregnancy (which is not for wimps) and I CAN handle all the other life around me as well. As Erm...

The "Good Medicine"

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My Great, Great, Great Grandfather is Chief of the Potawatomi’s Abram B. Burnett (Nan-Wesh-Mah). His first wife was the legendary D'Moosh Kee Kee Awh (Darling Woman/GoodMedicine). It was well known that her beauty and strength was matchless throughout the region. She married Chief Burnett and was at his side during his advocacy for the nation. The story ends with her dying only four years after they married, leaving no children. I was actually grieved when I discovered her destiny. The good Chief went on to marry a fine German lady named Mary, and they had many children. I simply will not let a Darling Woman - Good Medicine die without a legacy. Therefore all the gifting and work from my hands will be from an elusive place called Good Medicine Ranch - Where All Good Things Flow.

Writing YOUR Book

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Michael Jackson describes writing a book perfectly in his song "Want to be starting something," when he said it was too high to get over and to low to get under . I read a quote that Eleanor Roosevelt declared saying, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." I always wanted to write a book but I was afraid of success. It is one thing to be afraid of failing, but success? I take my writing very personally because it is an intimate extension of myself. Opening myself up to criticism is not a very becoming prospect. Yet, I have always been encouraged to write more because my writing was found to be entertaining. Then, was it time? No, I write daily. I write email, cards, messages, and even journal so I find time to write daily. What was it that took me 11 years to finally write a book? It was the call to do so. I felt the passion, urge, and timeliness of my current project and I never looked back. I was inspired, encouraged and yes; even dared to go forth by a...

An Ode to Rich

As we hold tight to this fast spinning planet called Mother Earth, hold on even tighter to your friends. Friends are those that hang on when the rest of the world lets go. These are the only people that can put you in a better mood. These are the ones we love to be around, the ones we share our secrets with. They give us pet names, and can make us laugh at ourselves. Never hesitate to reach out and call your friends and tell them how much you love them. Tell them how this spinning planet would be much more unfriendly without them; and no matter what - tell them your life has been richer because of them. "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget."

Bleeding Pennies

I want to UPS to send a friend a book (Prosperity Secret of the Ages - it's a goot one). They wanted to charge me $18.00 to send it standard. My reaction was, "Say wahhhh ?" I go, "That is not a good choice on how I will spend my money today!" This was after my kids had a gay ol time with the bubble wrap, and they put the greetings cards thither and yon (I only have two hands). So I went to the post office and spent $1.88 for a 3 day delivery. I used their automatic label machine and it took me 2 minutes. Bottom line- I am not going to allow life to just happen to me. In this economy the penny is king. I make mine bleed!

Never Met a Sam I Did Not Like

I wanted to introduce my son Sam to Tai Chi, so I showed him a video of a Tai Chi master. I was in the hopes that the strength of fluidity would influence him to channel some if his 9 year old energy. He said, "Chai Tea is boring."

"By God, I wave back."

I really enjoy a good sad song every once in awhile. I have heard it said that even the happiest of folk cannot resist the minor keyed melody when hard times hit. I agree. The last thing I wanna hear when I have a bluey, (as my friend calls em') is "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." Actually, I am never in the mood for that one. Think about the songs that are background to our lives: "Change Gonna Come," by Sam Cooke, "God Bless the Child," Billie Holiday (she aint talking about no happy kid either), "Dearie: Touch the Hand of Love," Yo-Yo Ma & Rene Fleming. Listen to the soul cry out in some of these songs: " You may have to wonder far, over thorns that bleed and scar you - and those rocky mountains you must climb will try to blind you ."- Yo - Yo " The strong gets more while the weak ones fade ," - Billie " It's been too hard livin but I'm afraid to die, cause I don't know whats out there beyond...

Zumba

One can not leave a Zumba class in a bad mood I say. I love dance fitness. The class is full of men and women of all ages. I see 100 year old folk in there, okay some really seasoned dancers are in there, and I relish at the opportunity to watch em all! My favorite is the belly dancing intertwined with sexy Latin dances. Of course the first few times you go in you are as stiff and gangly. Talk about being dorkalicious. Then after a few classes, you could see yourself dancing with the...star...VFW, or something. The class is pretty powerful. The energy is vibrant and exhilarating. The world music that is played and the mix of ages and cultures that attend create an atmosphere that has moved me to laugh and even well up with a tear. My favorite character is the older gentleman that shwoops up his hair, about like a swirl cone and hair sprays it abundantly. It is distracting after awhile, but I esteem his tenacity. All the shaking and jiggling - all -about to the Reggieton is about as ent...

Self Image

I get so burned when I see displays of women scantily clad in advertisements , even Victoria's Secret are out of line. If your children are embarrassed to hand you the mail with those catalogs in them, they have gone too far with the half dressed models. I just want my daughter to believe that women are to be cherished, admired yes- but in a sanctimonious way. I want them to be revered for their beauty within, I'd love for their wisdom to be as much apart of any accolades they receive as much as their looks are. I always tell my children how wonderful they are, of course I ask em' why the heck they are soo cute all the time (it's my moral obligation), but I also say, "Did I tell you how smart, wise and wonderful you are today?" I know the world will do a real bang up job telling them how wonderful they are, right? I know when I was a child I had the red hair and freckles that every one loves to point out. I did not really get a complex because of that, I go...

Your Heart is so Pretty

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Michael and I got, married in downtown Las Vegas. We literally we wearing jeans and slippahs. My hair was in a ponytail, and I had a coke stain on my shirt. We were whisked away in a limo, and my nephew was our witness. The ceremony was short and sweet - we didn't even have rings. During the ceremony the minister pulled a rock out of his pocket shaped like a heart. He said to exchange it with each other during the good times and the times we need an extra special touch. It sits on our bedside table, and we use it sparingly. I may find it with a note of love, or I have put it in Mike's pocket so he would find it when he is at work and needs love. Today, our two-year old daughter Serena found the heart on on bedside table. She said, "What is this?" I said, "It's my heart." She gloated over the rock, and looked up and said; "Your heart is so pretty, I love it." Then, (she must have known it had immense value) because she said, "Can I hold it ...

Wahhhhhh

I noticed my darling children cry all the time, whereas the adults in my life never cry. My kids are never stressed, or pent up in frustration or anxiety. I think it is because they cry when they need to. I never forbid them to cry; I say cry it out if you must . If they cry I give them sympathy. Unlike adults, we can stop tears so readily that it is more unnatural to cry than to hold back. Adults are too busy trying not to look ugly. The tissues come out and all the incessant wiping, and uncomfortable feelings that go on is a sight we all turn from. Notice if grown up cries everyone turns away to not look upon their humanity as if it were invasion ? I consider children as pure and true to themselves when they cry - as we all should be. I actually cried today when I felt the need instead of the typical holding it all in. To steal from The Grinch - My face was leaking . It was a familiar, natural feeling but restrained so long that only two tears leaked out and wet my cheek. It felt goo...