Soldier Mom

I needed some uplifting, so I was looking at my journal from when I was pregnant with Gabriella, my 4th child. She is 18 months old now, and I have written throughout all my pregnancies. I am 32 weeks along into my 5th pregnancy. It was then that I was refreshed to read my thoughts on a page called, "Thong? Wrong."
I am more into comfort than I have been my entire life. I never even wore flip flops (slippahs) before I became pregnant with Serena (number 3 at age 34). I certainly never left the house without perfume, earrings, or make up. You are never fully dressed without sun block in the Vegas.
I hope and pray that as an old lady sitting on my porch, I never regret the lack of luster and flub bub. I just want to be the best mom I can. At times that requires comfortable shoes, and a shirt you don't mind banana on. Forgetta bout earrings that could be ripped out, and hair is back. I would have never thought of "back" as my hair style as a younger, trendier gal. I think of myself as a solider - no way can I be bothered with incidentals now!
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.
By the way, God looks at the heart. "Lord, please make my heart beautiful - more than anything else."
Love the Mama,
I am glad I came across that writing. I just so happened to have a conversation with my oldest daughter that day. Hope is 12 years old. She asked me why people wear thongs anyway. I then proceeded to tell her about the evils of panty lines. She remarked, "Mom, NO ONE looks at your panty lines." I was speechless. I needed that word of wisdom to cope with her insolence otherwise I would have been doubting myself. I just laughed!
I appreciate moms. Man they have to go through so much. I know I hurt my mom's feelings when I was 12. I appreciate her all the more. Especially now that my mom is no longer on this planet. It will be 3 years on September 1st that my Mama has been missing in my life. Missing is the operative word. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. I have no one to talk to about under garments with, or buy them for me for that matter. I am on my own. I wrote a few things about her that made me smile.
- Daily calls to see how I am doing
- Her class and style
- Her love for animals
- Thrift store shopping followed by Dairy Queen
- Her "Johnny come lately" singing
- Her enjoyment of school zones (she drove quite SSSlow)
- Her Snow Ice Cream
- Breakfast for dinner
- Reminders to "Stand up straight,""Get a napkin,""Ladies always drink their beer from a glass," "Never wear scuffed shoes" and "keep your hands off of the wall!"
- Cooking advice
- Holidays always done up to the 9's (who else put up paper turkeys?)
- Someone who always alerted me (happily) to the fashion faux paux of passers by
- Bologna Bean Blasters Sandwiches: baked beans, bologna, mustard & chips
- Advice
- Cheerleading
- Eye rolling
- Laughing with her was the best feeling in the world!
- and her unforgettable mother mantra, "I will love you no matter what."

"Blue skies smiling at me, nothing but blue skies do I see."- Willy Nelson

I miss you my beautiful mama, but I know you are happy in your big, blue bubble bath in the sky. - Love, Holly Ann