Showing posts from 2018

How does this vast spinning ball called planet earth work?

The classic dilemma of the decades. Do we wait around and hope that dreams really do come true, or do we move forward and go for the things in life we want? This is one of my biggest quandaries. I have no regrets over the times that life did not hand me the answers, so I went for them as best as I could. I never have been a wait and see kind of a gal. I am far too curious and impatient. I feel as though every stone must be unturned before I can rest. I light the candle at both ends. I exhaust every ounce that life has to offer rather than wasting any of it. I have this underlying theme that I'll miss something. And what is so wrong with that? Where is my trust? I do not have to make everything happen, and everything that needs to be done will get done. The people that I love will get their fair share of my love and attention. All the things I need to see will be seen. All the accomplishments that I desire to do and experiences will happen. Of course then my next thought is "bu


I decided after 3 years of "taking a break," in a doctoral program in Human Services with Walden to head on back to class. My first class is Qualitative Reasoning and Analysis. It is hairy, and difficult and - it is all online. With this in mind, my 19 year old daughter is in boot camp with a fractured hip, telling me, "Only 20% of the people make it through boot camp with this injury." I told her, "but that is not true for you." All the while, as I write this; I failed my first assignment in the course. I considered the fact that many people don't make it through the program. I got in my head about how, "I don't need that degree," and I second guessed myself that this going back was all a big mistake. You know, the usual. After a day of marinating in the illusions. I began to deal with the truth. It's just a paper. It's not the end of the world. Nothing is - ever. We don't really know the rest of the story. I decided to stop

I told my son, "Screw you."

I generally do not nit pick my children. I allow them to live, and move and have their being, and when they need me - I am always here for them. Even with their homework! If it doesn't get done, they fail. I learned that it is okay to allow kids to live with their mistakes. I get involved to correct them, not to punish them. The only time I boldly step in, in when they are unloving. My 16 year old son is a red headed boy, that I have gone rounds with...till one day when he was about 5 years old - I said, "I'm gonna stomp off your freckles," and we both laughed. That was it. It was over. I stopped the resistance to my parenting, and made it about his life. When I did not care about the perception, but more about the real mother and son relationship, things changed. To this day, after giving me lots of grey hair that I cover often, he is in Modeling United Nations (MUN) with his school, honors classes, football, wrestling, and into girls, oh - and rap. He doesn't