"Good Medicine"

I decided after 3 years of "taking a break," in a doctoral program in Human Services with Walden to head on back to class. My first class is Qualitative Reasoning and Analysis. It is hairy, and difficult and - it is all online. With this in mind, my 19 year old daughter is in boot camp with a fractured hip, telling me, "Only 20% of the people make it through boot camp with this injury." I told her, "but that is not true for you." All the while, as I write this; I failed my first assignment in the course. I considered the fact that many people don't make it through the program. I got in my head about how, "I don't need that degree," and I second guessed myself that this going back was all a big mistake. You know, the usual. After a day of marinating in the illusions. I began to deal with the truth. It's just a paper. It's not the end of the world. Nothing is - ever. We don't really know the rest of the story. I decided to stop...

I generally do not nit pick my children. I allow them to live, and move and have their being, and when they need me - I am always here for them. Even with their homework! If it doesn't get done, they fail. I learned that it is okay to allow kids to live with their mistakes. I get involved to correct them, not to punish them. The only time I boldly step in, in when they are unloving. My 16 year old son is a red headed boy, that I have gone rounds with...till one day when he was about 5 years old - I said, "I'm gonna stomp off your freckles," and we both laughed. That was it. It was over. I stopped the resistance to my parenting, and made it about his life. When I did not care about the perception, but more about the real mother and son relationship, things changed. To this day, after giving me lots of grey hair that I cover often, he is in Modeling United Nations (MUN) with his school, honors classes, football, wrestling, and into girls, oh - and rap. He doesn't...

Speaking to children about drugs is as simple as speaking to them about everything. If parents are connecting to their children regularly anyway, then asking them what they know about drugs should be easy. The only time it is difficult to discuss these heavy matters is when you have been avoiding the deep subjects of life altogether. Make a special date specifically to speak with your children on these topics. Take them out for people watching, or any time together away from the home for less distractions. Being a disciplinarian is not our only parental role. Being a mentor to our young people will keep the doors of communication open, which is important because the topic of drug use should come from parents not from the outside world. When children feel heard, and when they know their opinion is respected, you will get their input. Once you discover what they know about drugs, and where they heard it, it is simple to get the facts straight together. If you really do not know the tr...

1) The number one symptom revealing that you are suffering from anxiety is lack of clarity. This is the plaguing mind chatter that includes second guessing yourself, (and everyone else), being forgetful, and the overall lack luster of life that weighs down your body and mind is - anxiety. The things you used to live for, can now be easily blown off to crawl into bed. When isolation seems like a good idea, perhaps the symptoms are not just from a long week, or year, but perhaps even years of the drain that stress has taken. Even if we are overall fairly healthy, our emotions will take the toll on our physical body. When your "get up and go, must have got up and went," as Aerosmith puts it succinctly, it must be looked at much more closely than fatigue. We could all do well listen to our bodies, hearts and souls. 2) What is the difference between fatigue and stress symptoms? Fatigue is easily overcome with a few good nights rest, and replenishment. Anxiety is a perptual feeli...

I was asked by my client this week, "If you were to die tomorrow, would you consider yourself successful?" I really struggled with that question. He further prompted, "I know a counselor that asked me to do an assignment of the Top 100 Things I want to do in life List. It really helped me to get more clear on life." I was given my own Good Medicine! I began to think, write and discuss this notion of success; and here is what I came up with: Yes, I am successful. My idea of success is bleeding every drop from life that I possibly can. The cool new concept of success that I have stumbled upon of late, is that acceptance is also very peace giving. I have peace that I did the best I could, except when I don't, "cause sometimes you won't," to quote Dr. Seuss. Some are given a golden spoon, and their ability to be successful in the world's eyes is easier. They have access to nurturing parents, exceptional educations, and a stellar sphere of influen...

As a mom it is very difficult to parent in a way that is congruent with your own heart. One, we have the outside factors that our own parents instill. It feels like they are dictating our every move (they are really not there unless you live with them and that is a different issue). Then we have the civilization that is just staring at you in judgment whilst you mosey down the street, getting your kid to school late again! This outside judgment does not exist. You are your worst parent critic. Stop it! Parent – from - the heart. Do what you feel is right - not what is popular. What is right for you and your child? And please give yourself grace along the way.

My Instagram is called Hollsgoodlife. I think about my life and the times when I have grown the most. I felt the most bliss was when it was not about me. When I get it twisted, and get involved I have seen more stagnation and frustration. I have been thinking about the people that leave an indelible mark in our souls, like Sir Richard Branson, Oprah, Mother Teresa, and Viktor Frankl. I noticed that all they wanted to do was help others. If we can do that – we – will be paid accordingly here in the land of the living. My mark in history will be one of giving, serving, and loving while speaking the truth in love. Tis better to give than to receive.

I woke up this morning with a sense of awful moving in. I began think about the tactics it would take to get me out of my stifled state . All the finagling in my head made me more anxious. The idea of talking to any super genius humans did not sound appealing in any way. Even my angel doggie Charlie did not lift any burdens. I felt doubt creeping in. My heart literally felt heavy. I knew my help had to come from higher ground. I got up, got my coffee, hugged kids, made my husband coffee, and went outside. I headed for a quiet spot right by my apple tree. I still felt frozen in worry. There was no relief. I did the next best thing I knew to do in morose times, and I headed for the tub. Sitting there with blank thoughts, I received no answers, no nudging, and no peace. I walked through the morning numbly. As I blanked out during morning ablutions, I felt lead to go to one more outlet that is a secret place of inspiration for me. In my upstairs back bathroom, the window opens up to a ...

I honestly can not believe how quickly children grow up. I find that I took quite a long time to mature and get my head right. I remember my thoughts and beliefs as a teenager, a young adult, a new mama and now I am "mame." I do not really know how I feel about all this growing and going. As Simba said, "Change is hard." I don't like change but I would hate for things to stay the same. I don't want to grow old, yet I anticipate a future of wisdom, enjoyment, slowing down and not being so concerned about looks. I thought when I was younger that I would enjoy being a grey haired granny swinging on the porch with my grandkids. I would not concern myself with the outside but I would concentrate on relationships. Well, it was a nice theory but I see a few things slipping that I fear are not as pleasant as I had hoped. Kids get less dependent and I always dreamed of them being self sufficient. I actually get a little blue when the older kids are okay without my in...

Suicidal ideation is nothing new under the sun. King David himself in all his splendor said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest." We all want to be at peace in our own bodies. Everyone with skin on can relate to flying high as a free bird away from troubles. The bad stuff in life does not skip anyone. The bottom line is, we either face them with courage or we live a life of hot pursuit of not. Not handling our issues, running from pain, and anesthetizing ourselves are time - tested ways to deal with problems. Popular, albeit dodging issues is ineffective and more problems are incurred from escape. They come in the form of drugs, alcohol, manipulation, delusions, excess, and impulsively. A real answer is actually taking the band-aid off and looking at our sources of pain. Indians, indigenous people from America, North America and Mexico believed that people have soul wounds and in order to be healthy, good medicine needed to heal them. As a ...

At 42 years old, I have gleaned a few things though my life’s journey. Simple though they may be, they are my strengths. One is to always stand up straight and tall! The power stance says it all. If I walk in with my head down, and I am not aware of my environment, it says I am not able the face the world. My mom always said, “Stand up straight!” I am such a hard head that, yes after her death I am finally listening, and she will be gloriously glowing to know I do! My mother -in - law always taught her children to be aware of their environment, which says I am not a victim, I know what’s going on! Besides my stature, I take care of my skin and have since I was a teen. My face is my billboard, but behind the eyes (saturated in a good eye cream) is my soul. I care for my soul over my body. If my soul is at rest then I can fully function and do what I need to do every day. If I am not clear then I cannot be on target daily. Being on task daily may not mean getting the to do list ove...

There are many things that are a mystery but I do know, that children give to our lives, they are not takers. I believe I have met some of the most beautiful angels right here on planet earth, and I believe I meet more daily. I know that music heals, scents can clear and give peace, and colors bring joy and protection. I know that our lives can enjoy rest for our souls and that peace can abide. Tumult can end when we are sure, and giving these keys to others is a joy. I know animals are guides, grandmas are queens, and grandpas are warriors. Neighbors are blessings, and friends are rare jewels and a kindred spirit is who you have your pow-wow coffee with. Sisters are the ones who know your story and can vouch for your cause, even if it is shopping and laughter. Singing with the saints in the sanctuary is eternal. Flowers evoke passion, charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, hand shakes are integral and so is a name. Advocacy for the voiceless is needed and a lot more courage too! I kno...

Why do birds suddenly appear? Once I heard a bird’s song, like I’d never heard before. I followed the sound to a baby bird alone in a bush. It was a white cockatiel. It was loudly calling for help, so I approached it and put my hand out to see if it would let me help him. He jumped right on to my hand and up to my shoulder where he rested. He was happy and so was I. At the time I found that baby bird, I had just lost my mom to cancer and I had a 1 month old, and was totaling 3 children. It was too much for me to consider keeping the baby bird knowing that those birds live for 30 or more years. I found the baby a good home, but always wondered what the message was that he brought. I like to think it was God’s way of letting me know my mom was also safe at home. I also believe that the message of a white bird always signifies peace, the Holy Spirit and of course when I see a white feather, I believe with all my heart that angels are around. I also fully believe that God loves to send m...

As I was people watching in the mall the other day, I noticed most times in passing - no one would look up for eye contact…eyes were on the floor. Where are the smiles? I was baffled. I was in public and yet there was none present. My theory is that folks are so devoted to gadgets that they miss authentic life as it is happening. It is awkward to unplug and be retrospect, isn’t it? A sad day is being in a waiting room that everyone’s face is down in a phone rather than speaking to one another. We are not truly BE-ing. The only way we catch names anymore is on Starbucks beverages. That is if we are listening, observing, or if we care. All this available connect we have to everything else is causing disconnect in the human touch. Families are not in unity. We are not having conversations. There is less real interaction. What is happening? Escape? Escape from the real world into self. I feel myself slipping into this dross when I choose to ignore passers by or think of others as a bother...

Dear Victoria - I’ve got a secret, I recently received a lovely gift certificate for Victoria’s Secret. Retail therapy works for me. What woman does not want to feel beautiful? One assumes that your stores’ intention is to make skivvies more than a necessity, but a delight. I enjoy soft, silky materials. Colors appeal to my senses and make me happier than the classic standard of beige and white undies. So I do appreciate the duty you have of helping women put on their sexy pants while putting a little va-voom in relationships. However, I was taken aback the moment I discovered that you don’t have extra large. Large, according to your sales clerk was sizes 12-14, and it was, “sure to fit me.” I sashayed around noticing that most of the larges were quickly taken up and what was left were extra small, small and medium. I dared to wonder “who is an extra small, these garments are for grown folks, right?” Here’s my secret, Victoria. The average size of a woman is 14. Now, this is not a n...

I had an interview today with the Marriage and Family Therapy Board at 9:15 a.m. After running through the parking lot, running upstairs and back down because the doors were locked, and trudging through university hall ways, I finally arrived at 9:20 a.m. to discover the interviews were running late. After I calmed down, and sniffed on some lavender, I noticed my best friend texted that she was praying for me. I knew she was, I could feel the grace. Taking the time to listen to my peers speak about their sites and experiences as mental health interns was medicine for my soul. One was an Okie girl like me. I was happy to be around people who understood what I had just been through, getting all those hours together for the prize, the license! My interview went well and I sashayed out the door saluting "OU" to my cohorts. My Okie friend responded with a congratulatory "Boomer Sooner!" They looked relieved for me, knowing their rite of passage was next. The overwhelmi...

When I stepped in I felt like I had already lived more than a 17 year old should have. I had already accrued many scars, a lovely tattoo and several bad habits. In fact, by the time I was 16 years old I was a full-fledged alcoholic and occasioned recreational drugs. I drank grape beer with my granny and smoked cigarettes since I was 5. She would say, “I would rather you smoke in front of me so you don’t burn the house down.” Bless her heart; she had an 8th grade education and her own scars. Gladdy was a family friend but I always considered her a granny. I learned love for cats, beer and how to love even when you are not blood related from her. I know why I was trying to sabotage my life now. At the time, I literally had no good ideas, no mentors and no direction. If I did, I was not listening to them. My friends certainly had no clue about how to do life. I loved them dearly but I saw that their futures were destined to be professional partiers. I wasn’t even psychic! I knew that l...

Disappointment in life is nothing new under the sun. Relying on others is cause for letdown and bitterness in our lives. One of the biggest ramifications of hanging on to those things is that trust is not easily given after we have been let down a time or two. Look at the bright side; it also promotes heaps of self-determination. We still have to believe all things! We should believe the best in people and hope that they do their best for themselves and by us. Expect sometimes when they don’t - cause sometimes they wont. Life happens, meh happens, and people may not prioritize us in the scheme of life. That’s okay, we must continue to build and believe in others anyway. Ever meet a grumpy old man or woman that just has been used up and let down? Their face is stuck on crumpled. I for one don’t want that kind of face or disposition. I take a strength-based approach in life and that is I believe that we all have the potential to be highly influential, great people. We all have dreams, ...

I am Holly, I have been here in Las Vegas for 20+ years so it's home. I dealt with 115-degree weather, gambling, and splendor at its finest from this town and there is nothing but love for this great state from me. Most of the time, I enjoy what this town has to offer my family. I also reach out to the community in many efforts for social change and good old fashioned unconditional love. I do, however feel there is one issue that is almost impossible for me to swallow. That is the sexualization of this town. Now, I am not trying to make this a place that it is not. Hear me out, please. That being said I noticed some things here that many others do not seem to notice at all. Its like I live with people who chose not to see the obvious. Many people here do not believe that it is their duty to speak the truth about what happens in Vegas. Its been touted it just stays here, so we don’t really need to notice advertisements for sex, or shows, or clubs that are offering happy endings. I...

There is a lot to be said about friendship. I know for me it is the salt of the earth. Friendship gives life flavor. Fun. There really cannot be anything better on the planet than laughing with a friend. When is the last time you laughed so hard your face hurt with your bestie? Friends can make the difference in a lackluster day. I am talking about the acquaintances we have as well. People like the folks we see at the store, or co- workers that we may chat with but we don’t divulge our dreams, depths or dregs too. Those people help make life more than tolerable. Sometimes a smile or a little talk about the weather buoys the soul. I have even spoken to people that I don’t know that well that have given me enough inspiration to go on for weeks. Then there are those friends that you can take the masks down with and be real. Not your selfie pic, but the true you. I am not even talking about the people that have known you forever. We change every seven years in a variety of ways. The Ho...