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I honestly can not believe how quickly children grow up. I find that I took quite a long time to mature and get my head right. I remember my thoughts and beliefs as a teenager, a young adult, a new mama and now I am "mame." I do not really know how I feel about all this growing and going. As Simba said, "Change is hard." I don't like change but I would hate for things to stay the same. I don't want to grow old, yet I anticipate a future of wisdom, enjoyment, slowing down and not being so concerned about looks. I thought when I was younger that I would enjoy being a grey haired granny swinging on the porch with my grandkids. I would not concern myself with the outside but I would concentrate on relationships. Well, it was a nice theory but I see a few things slipping that I fear are not as pleasant as I had hoped. Kids get less dependent and I always dreamed of them being self sufficient. I actually get a little blue when the older kids are okay without my input. I want a abs of steel but I am grateful for 5 beautiful healthy children.

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